Autism, Harry Potter and A Mother's Love for Her Son. Part 1

While J.K. Rowling encouraged children worldwide to read. She also gave my son and I a place to call our own. This is our story.

 "Don't ever expect him to live in your world." Words burned into the deepest part of my soul. Spoken by a well meaning but ill informed teacher. Ironic seeing that the entire reason for this meeting with therapists, counselors and educators, was to discuss how to mold my child, just diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum after a year long process, to fit into their world.

Filled with rage, disbelieve, holding in tears that desperately wanted to escape. Head in my hands, I glanced up only to see my 7 year old son outside the room blowing me a kiss. At that moment, I knew two things. That he would no longer be a student at this school and no one should tell a mother that her child cannot, will not, do something. Ever.

"Mama What is wrong with me?" he asked on our drive home. Even at his young age he knew that none of his classmates had to endure the medical tests, have their play patterns observed or sit in a hall while adults talked about them. He knew that his "stims" drew stares, that no one else thought wearing certain clothes or eating certain foods was torture. They did not feel the anger he felt or had trouble making friends. He knew he was different. He hated being different, This boy of very few words had made it clear on several occasions, he wanted to disappear forever.

If only he could see the amazing  little person I saw through my eyes.

 "Nothing love, You are perfect." I answered as the tears I fought so hard to hold in, silently fell. My son was bound for greatness even if the rest of the world did not believe, I did. That would have to be enough for now.

As I tucked him into bed that evening, I knew one thing to be true. If he could not live in my world. Then I would find a way to live in his.

The next morning, armed with a trash bag, He and I discarded all reminders of his lack of conformity. No longer did he have to look at what others wanted him to be. He was finally going to be free. Free to follow his inner spirit, discover who he was destined to become. With a nod of his head, Out went the footballs, baseball mitt and bat, hot wheels, army men, action figures, anything that he did not want cluttering up his space was out.

After our work was done I looked around his room. For the first time I saw my son through his own eyes. For what remained were his truest passions. The foundation of who he has become 7 years later.

On his walls were posters of his favorite movies. On the shelves were characters from those films, for they had become his only friends. Super Heroes because he felt good should always defeat evil. Swords and Dragons because medieval times were cool, Legos to build their lairs. Art supplies that allowed him to bring the characters in his mind out to play. His collection of rocks and crystals remained in his treasure box. For "They have energy when you hold them" he explained.

Then there were his books. Shelf after shelf. When I asked him if he wished to part with some of them."No mama they have our memories in them" "When you read to me I go to those places in my dreams. No one makes fun of me there." he explained.

How I wished that I could make others accept my darling boy as he was. However a smile gathered upon my face all the same, for we had already proved the experts wrong. As I looked around, so much of me was represented in the remaining possessions he held dear.

Perhaps finding a world in which we both could live, would not be so difficult after all.

Being a mom to a teenage daughter can really suck sometimes.

Long gone are the days of ribbons and ponytails. When a shiny new toy or a trip to the ice cream store can fix my children's problems. No longer does my daughter look up to me as the one person that has all the answers. Instead I get a blank stare that cuts right through me prior to her walking out of the room.

If only I could shake her, until my life lessons become hers. However, That is not how life works. One must make their own mistakes, fall on their face and somehow find the way back to their feet again.

When your children are small you can put a Band-Aid on those hurts. Yet, when they get older your influence becomes less and less. One must hope that what you say to them does register. No matter how little that may be.

You cannot choose their friends, their passions, their ambitions, not even their boyfriends. Just try forbidding your child from seeing someone. For, I have tried in miserable failure. How I wish I could find her a boy who would bring her flowers, take her to dinner, tell her that she is beautiful, laugh at her jokes, end the evening with a good night kiss after walking her to the front door. Instead of settling for being treated less than she deserves.

Yet, I have been told that this is the trend. For boys to pull up, text to have the girl meet him outside, to go hang out somewhere, Or if there are plans for special evening. Then it is expected to go dutch or even have the girl pay more often than the guy. When exactly did this happen and whom may I ask are raising these boys?


All I can tell her is to not let anyone make you feel inferior for the true measure of a person is their heart. If someone wants you to change to fit in their mold of what you should be, walk away. Do not give that person another thought. For insecurity is the biggest attribute of a bully. Words are toxic.


"Believe" has always been my motto to both my children. Do not let anyone tell you that a goal cannot be obtained. That you are less than worthy. Success is not limited to those with straight A's, the star on the ball field or the prettiest girl in school. Because those things fade away, What you are left with is passion, desire the willingness to work for it.

Getting them to the point of knowing what they want to do with their life or what they wish to be is difficult. Personally this changes, Several paths I have chosen. Growing is a part of life, what I want now is not what I wanted 10 years ago. How can I help her become who she is meant to be, when I am still so uncertain of my own paths?

While I say that I have been there. With the gossip, heart breaks, pressures of being a teenager. Honestly I cannot say that I have. When I was a teen, many times you had to wait for your parents to get off the phone before you could spread a rumor. Now it takes one text message to ruin one's reputation.

No longer does one confine in their best friend, teens now travel in packs. Giving the word clique' a whole new meaning. You enter high school, immediately you receive a label. Freak, geek, prep, jock, emo, goth the list goes on. If you try to break out of that mold set upon you, then you become a poser. It is said that you discover who you are in high school. In reality you discover who you do not want to be. This is the stage in which my daughter is in. Looking around at others, deciding who can stay and who must go from her life.

One's child is not a sponge, nor are they made of clay for you to mold. If so my daughter would wear boho skirts, plant herbs in the garden while humming John Lennon songs. She would prefer to read Jane Austen, Yeats and yes even Harry Potter to watching Jersey Shore. She would fill journals with her dreams.

Instead she is her own person. One who will make mistakes, trust the wrong people, go in the opposite direction of where she should go. Make decisions based on misinformation. She will live for the moment, only to have tomorrow here before she knows it.

As her mom, It is my job, responsibility, to once again, dry her tears, help her to stand, while encouraging her to keep moving forward. That is if on that day she chooses to acknowledge my existence.