While J.K. Rowling encouraged children worldwide to read. She also gave my son and I a place to call our own. This is our story.
"Don't ever expect him to live in your world." Words burned into the deepest part of my soul. Spoken by a well meaning but ill informed teacher. Ironic seeing that the entire reason for this meeting with therapists, counselors and educators, was to discuss how to mold my child, just diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum after a year long process, to fit into their world.
Filled with rage, disbelieve, holding in tears that desperately wanted to escape. Head in my hands, I glanced up only to see my 7 year old son outside the room blowing me a kiss. At that moment, I knew two things. That he would no longer be a student at this school and no one should tell a mother that her child cannot, will not, do something. Ever.
"Mama What is wrong with me?" he asked on our drive home. Even at his young age he knew that none of his classmates had to endure the medical tests, have their play patterns observed or sit in a hall while adults talked about them. He knew that his "stims" drew stares, that no one else thought wearing certain clothes or eating certain foods was torture. They did not feel the anger he felt or had trouble making friends. He knew he was different. He hated being different, This boy of very few words had made it clear on several occasions, he wanted to disappear forever.
If only he could see the amazing little person I saw through my eyes.
"Nothing love, You are perfect." I answered as the tears I fought so hard to hold in, silently fell. My son was bound for greatness even if the rest of the world did not believe, I did. That would have to be enough for now.
As I tucked him into bed that evening, I knew one thing to be true. If he could not live in my world. Then I would find a way to live in his.
The next morning, armed with a trash bag, He and I discarded all reminders of his lack of conformity. No longer did he have to look at what others wanted him to be. He was finally going to be free. Free to follow his inner spirit, discover who he was destined to become. With a nod of his head, Out went the footballs, baseball mitt and bat, hot wheels, army men, action figures, anything that he did not want cluttering up his space was out.
After our work was done I looked around his room. For the first time I saw my son through his own eyes. For what remained were his truest passions. The foundation of who he has become 7 years later.
On his walls were posters of his favorite movies. On the shelves were characters from those films, for they had become his only friends. Super Heroes because he felt good should always defeat evil. Swords and Dragons because medieval times were cool, Legos to build their lairs. Art supplies that allowed him to bring the characters in his mind out to play. His collection of rocks and crystals remained in his treasure box. For "They have energy when you hold them" he explained.
Then there were his books. Shelf after shelf. When I asked him if he wished to part with some of them."No mama they have our memories in them" "When you read to me I go to those places in my dreams. No one makes fun of me there." he explained.
How I wished that I could make others accept my darling boy as he was. However a smile gathered upon my face all the same, for we had already proved the experts wrong. As I looked around, so much of me was represented in the remaining possessions he held dear.
Perhaps finding a world in which we both could live, would not be so difficult after all.
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Earth Day 2010
I have been meaning to re-launch this blog for sometime. The thoughts have been there along with the time. So why not? A dozen milestones have come and gone. Why start with Earth Day?
Because Mother Earth is crying out for help and it is up to us. We can talk about our carbon footprints or global warming. The need to recycle, protect our wildlife, use less fossil based fuels and even planting more trees.
Yet,I will save those issues so close to my heart for a later date. Today is about universal energy. The light that flows through everything and everyone. Our connection with one another.
Call me a modern day hippie. I believe in Peace. A major political issue that we mere citizens have no control over. Or do we? Peace does not start with power house nations it begins with us. It begins with acceptance.
Growing up my parents exposed me to all different kinds of people. Of every color, religion and economic status. Giving me the wonderful experiences of all heritages, backgrounds. Within my work as a makeup artist and the theatre, I found myself making friends with those of different sexual orientations. I learned early on that love sees no color. That money does not give you class. Nor does the lack of it give you none. That love is a wonderful, marvelous thing that should not be discouraged in what ever form it has been blessed upon us. That every one has a story that deserves to be heard.
Being a mom of a special needs child has taught me that one must not judge. Thirteen years ago I may have believed in accepting those you were different. Yet, my voice remained silent. I may myself have judged someone without knowing them. My son changed that, teaching me that it is okay to be different. That within judgement comes pain. Real emotional pain that was inflicted on my son by classmates, strangers, even some of our friends.
My sweet son who has nothing but love in his pure heart, who has done nothing wrong but to be autistic. His stimming, his social awkwardness, his world, leaves him vulnerable. Vulnerable to verbal and physical attacks, rude stares and comments from those who know nothing about him. To even be shunned from parties that our once so called friends had without an invite with his name on it. He learned early on that being different was not acceptable in today's society. I am out to prove that being different can be and should be celebrated. My mission is for him to celebrate his differences, see them as a blessing, not a curse.
While I cannot shield him from ignorant people. I can raise him in an environment that celebrates everyone and their unique qualities. To surround him with loving spirits that will lift him up.
Within our circle of friends that are more like family. He along with his older sister find comfort in those of all nationalities, economic status, religions/spiritualities and sexual orientation. Strong role models that provide them with the love, the foundation on which to base their own independence. So, they too that can learn that love knows no color, that money does not give you class, nor the lack of it gives you none, that love in no matter what form is a marvelous gift.
So my message, my request this Earth Day is to celebrate Universal energy. To look beyond the stereotypes and find it in your heart to accept those different than yourself.
Instead of shunning that neighbor of a different race than you. Smile and say hello, start a conversation, maybe you will become fortunate enough to make a new friend. Instead of judging those with less material goods than yourself, donate to a food pantry or homeless shelter. Feel blessed that you are in the position to help. When you see a gay couple holding hands, replace your hate and disgust with happiness and joy. Celebrate the fact that they are sharing their love with each other, with the world. Attend a church or spiritual celebration with those of different beliefs than yourself. Have an open mind, an open heart.
When your son or daughter's birthday approaches encourage them to invite that kid in class, neighborhood that is a bit different, the one who has a hard time making friends. You cannot imagine how much that would mean to that child and their parents. You cannot imagine the impact it can have on your own child.
Everyone has the ability to change the world, one moment, one act of kindness, one small wonder at a time. Uplifting words, actions tend to come back to us. Blessing the giver with even more positive energy than the receiver.
So you see, Peace is possible, if only in our own hearts.
Happy Earth Day 2010 everyone!
We are all children of the Universe. So be kind and love one another.
Peace, love and light,
Mitzi
Because Mother Earth is crying out for help and it is up to us. We can talk about our carbon footprints or global warming. The need to recycle, protect our wildlife, use less fossil based fuels and even planting more trees.
Yet,I will save those issues so close to my heart for a later date. Today is about universal energy. The light that flows through everything and everyone. Our connection with one another.
Call me a modern day hippie. I believe in Peace. A major political issue that we mere citizens have no control over. Or do we? Peace does not start with power house nations it begins with us. It begins with acceptance.
Growing up my parents exposed me to all different kinds of people. Of every color, religion and economic status. Giving me the wonderful experiences of all heritages, backgrounds. Within my work as a makeup artist and the theatre, I found myself making friends with those of different sexual orientations. I learned early on that love sees no color. That money does not give you class. Nor does the lack of it give you none. That love is a wonderful, marvelous thing that should not be discouraged in what ever form it has been blessed upon us. That every one has a story that deserves to be heard.
Being a mom of a special needs child has taught me that one must not judge. Thirteen years ago I may have believed in accepting those you were different. Yet, my voice remained silent. I may myself have judged someone without knowing them. My son changed that, teaching me that it is okay to be different. That within judgement comes pain. Real emotional pain that was inflicted on my son by classmates, strangers, even some of our friends.
My sweet son who has nothing but love in his pure heart, who has done nothing wrong but to be autistic. His stimming, his social awkwardness, his world, leaves him vulnerable. Vulnerable to verbal and physical attacks, rude stares and comments from those who know nothing about him. To even be shunned from parties that our once so called friends had without an invite with his name on it. He learned early on that being different was not acceptable in today's society. I am out to prove that being different can be and should be celebrated. My mission is for him to celebrate his differences, see them as a blessing, not a curse.
While I cannot shield him from ignorant people. I can raise him in an environment that celebrates everyone and their unique qualities. To surround him with loving spirits that will lift him up.
Within our circle of friends that are more like family. He along with his older sister find comfort in those of all nationalities, economic status, religions/spiritualities and sexual orientation. Strong role models that provide them with the love, the foundation on which to base their own independence. So, they too that can learn that love knows no color, that money does not give you class, nor the lack of it gives you none, that love in no matter what form is a marvelous gift.
So my message, my request this Earth Day is to celebrate Universal energy. To look beyond the stereotypes and find it in your heart to accept those different than yourself.
Instead of shunning that neighbor of a different race than you. Smile and say hello, start a conversation, maybe you will become fortunate enough to make a new friend. Instead of judging those with less material goods than yourself, donate to a food pantry or homeless shelter. Feel blessed that you are in the position to help. When you see a gay couple holding hands, replace your hate and disgust with happiness and joy. Celebrate the fact that they are sharing their love with each other, with the world. Attend a church or spiritual celebration with those of different beliefs than yourself. Have an open mind, an open heart.
When your son or daughter's birthday approaches encourage them to invite that kid in class, neighborhood that is a bit different, the one who has a hard time making friends. You cannot imagine how much that would mean to that child and their parents. You cannot imagine the impact it can have on your own child.
Everyone has the ability to change the world, one moment, one act of kindness, one small wonder at a time. Uplifting words, actions tend to come back to us. Blessing the giver with even more positive energy than the receiver.
So you see, Peace is possible, if only in our own hearts.
Happy Earth Day 2010 everyone!
We are all children of the Universe. So be kind and love one another.
Peace, love and light,
Mitzi
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